Oh, good grief … It’s starting again … I can feel the mood shifting, and I’m on a down swing.
So I suppose this will be the first real test to my blogging promise.
I vowed that I will not go down the gloomy doomy route on this blog, no matter how low my mood goes, although I think I’m going to have to reserve the right to just not post anything at all if I feel completely shitty.
In a warped little twisted way, I’m actually quite relieved my mood is plummetting. When I started writing this blog on the 28th February, I was nearing the finish-line to reduce decades worth of anti-depressants down to zero, and on March 2nd I took my last little 20mg tablet. I’ve taken nothing at all for ten days now, and I had been feeling good! Not “good” in a giddy, fast-talking, silly way, but clear-headed and relaxed. I had been feeling that way for the past couple of weeks, and to be honest, I started to wonder if the Prozac may have possibly been the cause of all the nonsense after all. Simply coming off the darn stuff seemed to have cured me!
But I spoke too soon, it seems. The mood’s been dropping since Friday, and I’ve been trying to stall the crash by taking lots of walks in the sunshine. The poor dog’s knackered! But even the sun couldn’t persuade me to smile this morning and I know the proverbial doo doo is about to hit the fan. But not to worry – the good thing about this “cyclothymia” curse is that it does exactly what it says on the wrapper, and cycles. So I know that whatever goes down, must come back up again – and I’ll be back in the land of the eccentric fast talkers within a few days, if that.
I haven’t started treatment yet, but the recommendation is for me to take Abilify, so hopefully things will get on track soon.
I might be the only person who can’t wait for my Swinging days to be over!!
© Alice through the Macro Lens