Weekly writing challenge: Stylish imitation

I thought I’d join the writing challenge this week, because I have been reading a lot of Jacqueline Wilson books to my son lately. She predominantly writes from the perspective of a child or young person, often with illustrations and “handwritten” diary entries. I have been trying to write some of my own life scenarios, but I often become stuck, frustrated, or bored when trying to describe them from my own viewpoint. Instead, I took a little snippet of an evening, and imagined it from my son’s perspective – obviously changing names to protect the not-so-innocent 🙂

*****

Dear Diary. Guess what Mum bought me? Yep. One of those Onesie lounge suits. It’s just like the ones babies wear, but they’ve got them for 11 year olds now. It’s dead warm and soft and even has feet. I’ve been wanting one since Sadie got a bright Pink one. I didn’t think a pink one would really suit me, so I never got one then. But Mum said they’ve started selling them again in Frescos. She got one for her with stars on it. Mine looks like a Union Jack and I would live in it if I could. It’s really comfy for gaming, although it’s a bit of a pain when I want a wee cos I have to take it all off.  Charlie’s gonna laugh his head off when he sees it.

*****

“Oh, for goodness sake, Ben!” Mum yelled as she snatched up my empty dinner plate off my bed.

“Sorry,” I said, as I did a 360 jump off the tower and fired a perfect head shot as I went. Yessss!

Mum made this weird, strangley type squeal and launched down towards the carpet at the end of my bed. She held up a scrunched up tissue and a plastic straw wrapper in her fist and shook it in my face.

“Rubbish!” she yelled, “On the floor!”

“Sorry,” I said, trying to sound more like I meant it this time. I crouched down and crept into the airport waiting room. Boom! Ten-kill streak! I’m on fire!

“You think I was put on this Earth to pick up after you?” Mum snapped.

I didn’t know if I was supposed to answer or not. Sometimes when I answer questions when Mum’s mad, it makes her madder. But while I was still thinking about it, she moved round to the side of my bed and leaned over.

“Oh look,” she said, sounding a bit calmer. “Fancy finding your clothes …. In a heap …. On the floor.”

Then she held up my trackies and T-shirt between her thumb and finger and just stood there, looking at me. I thought she looked a bit like I’m a Little Teapot, but I didn’t say it.

“Sorry,” I said.

Mum puffed out a loud sigh as she walked out and dumped my clothes in the washing basket on the landing. I planted a Claiborne on my way out to the plane sitting outside the terminal. Scallywag6 ran passed me and crouched down behind the luggage trolley, while I snuck up the steps onto the plane.

Mum stomped down the stairs to the kitchen. “Same old nonsense … every night.”

An enemy soldier made me jump as he came out of the aeroplane exit. We almost bumped into each other, but I was quick and whipped out my Bowie knife. Zip! Another one down.

Mum was still talking to herself. “Thanks, Mum. You’re the greatest! Oh, that’s OK, darling, don’t mind me. Just you carry on playing your very important game while I cater to your every need!”

The shadow in the cockpit was another enemy soldier. I could tell, because the writing over his head was red not green. Steady, Ben. Take your time. I crawled along the aisle until I had a good shot at him. He was picking up a care package, but I put a stop to that. Bam! Another head shot! Twelve-kill streak! Just one more for the Helicopter, and then it’s game over.

Mum came back in the room and leant over me. She spoke quietly now and kissed me on the head. “I’m going to bed now. Don’t stay up all night.” She looked at me laying on top of the bed in my Union Jack lounge suit. “Don’t you want to get under the covers?”

“No, my onesie’s really warm.”

“Well. I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I love you, Mum.”

“I love you too, babe.”

She crossed the landing and shut her bedroom door behind her. I ran down the front steps of the plane onto the tarmac. Aaarghhh! Shot in the back! The Kill-cam showed my assassin was some wimp who’d been camping out in the control tower. This means War!

*****

“Ben! Charlie’s here!” Mum yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

I kind of heard her, but her voice drifted off back into my dream and I fell back to sleep.

“Ben!”

This time, Mum was in the room. I know she pulled the curtains open, because the colour behind my eyelids turned from black to light brown. I scrunched up my eyes and looked out. Mum was standing over me.

“Come on, Ben. Charlie’s here. It’s halfway through the afternoon already.”

Charlie stood behind my Mum, grinning. He waited until Mum went back downstairs.

“Nice pyjamas, mate,” he said.

© Alice through the Macro Lens [2012]

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Categories: Alice's world, Just me | Tags: , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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13 thoughts on “Weekly writing challenge: Stylish imitation

  1. I love the way you interweave our world with the game world in the narration! I’m not sure what age Ben is supposed to be, but I’d say this is a pretty standard immersion in make-believe for a child – though of course When I Was Young, Harrumph, 😉 we used to have to dream up our fantasy worlds without electronic help. Anyhow, I can side with Mum’s annoyance…though I’d be tempted, somewhere around the middle of the conversation, to just unplug Ben’s system!

  2. Brilliant, although I think you might have tapped into my hubby’s brain whilst you wrote that 😀

  3. leahJlynn

    well, done an well !

  4. Thank you for saying so 🙂

  5. Carl

    I like what you write. It shows who you are. I am still attracted by you. A lot. Write to my new address please. X

  6. Carl

    it’s always a strange feeling to witness the raw talent of a writer. To realise that the woman behind the writing has a fantastic heart of pure gold is giving me butterflies in my tummy. X

  7. A very successful attempt to assume your son’s perspective, I’d say. I much enjoyed reading it … please keep going!

  8. Please would you leave a link in reply to where you got the onesie please (if you got it online I mean)

  9. Oh, sorry. I forget that I could be replying to anyone anywhere in the world! Primark is a “cheap shop” in England. I don’t think they have online shopping – but I’ve seen a couple of similar on the UK Ebay site. Sorry I can’t be more help.

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